The other side of the performance enhancing ipod

With three days to go until the 2009 Phuket Lagoona Triathlon, I was told I couldn’t compete because I stuffed my knees, I’d “Faithless’d “my knees rather. Huh? You see after a week of not training because of illness, I hit the tiles hard to make up for lost time. My ipod has a running play list to get me through the distance - a mix of tunes programmed to get me to “crank up” the speed. I committed (to myself) to finish the 12Km in 55 minutes, after all I was going to be chick to run triumphantly across line the finish line for our team, and who was I to let the side down....so no pressure Glover! Like all competitive athletes, I wanted to enjoy that moment when I ran through the ribbon, looking strong, fit and fabulous; not be half dead, beetroot red with some one having to catch me rather than crown me a winner.

It was going to be a great moment of achievement - so, in preparation the ipod is set to get me moving and moving fast – choreographed perfectly. Starting out with Paul Oakenfold, “Live in Havana” – the tune starts with a soulful voice singing “turn it around baby” a catchy beat and lyrics to get me out of the stalls with an impressive pace. Like the genius behind Formula One Fuel, I had scientifically created a special blend of music that was designed for maximum performance given weather conditions or difficult circuits. Paying particular attention to include the right ingredients for those critical moments when the engine would need a boost.

At the 6 km mark “California dreaming” is featured by Northern Exposure; instant vavavoom. At 7km’s, the mix introduces the first Faithless track. Here is the first mistake that we need to take back to the drawing board; too much rev too early in the game and engine just packs up. “We come one”. It’s all mental for me. You might be saying, “Yeah glover, you’re right there”…. But it is; there is no pain with Faithless, I’m not hurting I’m just cruising along with the grin on.

Then I hit 10 Kms, I’ve only got 2 to go, and we need a strong finish remember, so the play list opens up “Insomnia”, featured again by Faithless (who could forget such an old school anthem?). For me this is like performance enhancing drugs or runners fuel, straight into the veins. As the track kicks off I’m flying and if you were watching me run, you would probably be convinced I was on them too as my smile was ridiculously wide, cheesy slightly unnatural for a runner slugging it out in the Singas steamy night air. (Honestly, who runs like that - with out having just dropped a pinga, that is?.....)

Listen to this – but make sure you’ve got he monster mix going on…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T1plv7Z978



You can hear it build up, then the pace starts, my wheels are spinning, the engine is purring, at pace Glover, at pace…. The elbows tucked in, the hair flowing in the wind (or rather stuck to my face from sweat) the smile grabbing my ears, we're going at a cracking speed. (Come with me, play it loud) …. And then… and then…. Yes, wait for it…the tune then turns into that fabously unforgettable “doo doo doo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo doo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo dooo doo" , I have been seen throwing my arms up in the air doing the high hammers … maybe not looking sleek like Flo Jo, more like I'm completely bonkers.... but this is my church and this is how it goes….

It’s me and Faithless blearing loudly in my ears, passing the Tuesday night East Coast joggers night… then, shit, what’s that, we’ve got smoke people…. the left engine is choking and the main computer wasn’t picking up the signal. Hmm, lesson learnt, a 1973 Mercedes-Benz 450 SL wasn’t tuned to do the speeds of the Ferrari Enzo, regardless of the cd in the deck. Bugger. As my friend Leash always says to me, “Fleur, know when to exit and find your stop button”.

I’d effectively driven her off the cliff Thelma; my days of racing were over and I was band from running the tri. Instructions were from Dr Shiv
“....listen to me now Fleur, you run this race and you’ll be in physio for 12 months and no more sport for you for a long time - be smart ok child....”

Not an option not to really, because the other side of all this non-sporting action would ultimately mean I would pork up, and we can’t be dealing with that. I followed instructions and I put her in the shop for a few days.

I would go to Thailand a passenger. Not really my style, I’d undoubtedly suffer from Athlete envy, but I was part of a team, I’d made a commitment and as I have always said, “there is always a silver lining…”

As Winston Churchill once said
“ A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”

The other side to this was I was up for a week end in Phuket, blessed with a sea of breath taking rippled male bodies, exuding disgusting amounts of testosterone, buffed and oiled up, all set on a tropical beach lined with crystal clear turquoise waters. What’s wrong with that? And hey, we do love a bit of duck curry!

Time to get amongst it.


Fleur

The Big Sheila

**If you think you can be more responsible with your ipod than I, shoot me a note and I'll send you the racing list! You might just get more than 12 kms out of it!