The other side of a lie

This is what I was listening to when writing this….Jamie Cullum’s “High and Dry” – have a listen. Great words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFrerzpZOuY

An astounding 5918 couples exchange wedding vows every day in the US. That’s allot of promises made, and with the divorce rates as high as they are today, that’s allot of broken ones too.

To love, honour and to obey (“obey” is that really still allowed to be a vow?). Tiger Woods has quit golf indefinitely because he broke his promise to his wife – he lied that he would be faithful for the rest of his days. And if you’ve been watching CNN lately, you’ll see interviews with sports pundits saying he has lied to the American public about being a family man, a devoted husband and father. All the while he’s been using his 5 Iron to get a hole in one, or two, or three.… or maybe 18?

The other side to that is if all of our brilliant sportsman pulled out of the game because they got caught "scoring", we’d have no professional sports to watch and Ritchie Beno would have to retire! Do we really need to talk about Shane Warne? I don’t think so!

The other side of the lie is expectation. People lie because they feel they need to play a role in their social group, work environment or family. A common example; men put on a show with their mates because they need to be seen as “men”. Women lie about their weight because we need to be seen as feminine, little, in shape, "for the show”.

“Oh yeah, I put her away last night", a common male alpha male recall from the night before...when in reality he may have just had a cuddle with his lioness and been as soft as a pussy cat himself! But hey, what man is going to share that kind of detail over a pint with his mates? Imagine if you heard your mate saying,

“wow boys, I met this wonderful girl last night, it was amazing, we cuddled all night and it felt wonderful, truly amazing…”

The response would more than likely be

“What are you a pussy?” or “mate, you sound like a girl!”

The other side of the truth about people that lie, is that there are two types of people that do it. men and women.

Woman lie all the time, yet we get all upset and point the finger at men for lying yet we want them to make us feel good and tell us what we want to hear…. “No honey, your ass doesn’t look big in those white pants….”
Thankfully I don’t have big buns… but you get the picture.

A friend of mine recently picked up a hot 26 year old (boy) in a London bar and told him she was 27… she’s ticked over to 38 just this year and he believed her! Mind you, she does look damn good for 38, and with no botox either.

When you think about it, the bra can be one of the biggest lies around. Some should come with a warning sign; “can only guarantee aesthetically pleasing views in operation. No guarantee after dark.”

A man in a bar gives his resume to a woman to impress her. In fact I met a guy recently who was putting on fairly decent show with his resume, but he kept dropping into conversation that he had a house in Phuket. I wasn’t really interested so didn’t remark. Then when I made some throw away comment about going to Laguna Triathlon to seem slightly interested, it gave him an excuse to give me the full coordinates of where his house in Phuket actually was and bang on even more. He got a fake smile.

To change the subject, I chose some something innocuous to talk about, like what colour the door was. (ok, yes, I was full of it...). Yes, you-bet¬cha, he found a way to tell me that that was the exact colour of his door in Phuket. Oh. Fake eye-brow raise. lovely smile .

Oh really.

I wasn’t fast enough to divert and he went full launch into the design of the whole house.

I'm not an advocate of lying and always favour the truth, but I did lie, I did. I lied, my whole face body and smile was a one big FAT bloody lie. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I couldn’t stand Laguna and I thought it was more like a compound for the duller side of rich let out on holiday. I found it pretentious.

If my friend Sophia had heard this conversation from the dance floor, she would have screamed out to me “Barlow” . (a term we say to each other on nights out when we don’t need to lower the bar any further!). I exited stage left and headed for the dance floor.

Do we lie to preserve, to promote or to perform? Do you think it’s genetic or socially developed tool to get what people want?

My point is we all have lied at one time or another. Some more extreme than others, but it’s all about what you can handle I guess. My mate Dave lied to me once about having Parkinson’s disease (why?) he then lied to every one of our group about having a shrinking spine, then went Skiing to St Anton, Austria some two weeks later leading the pack down the black runs! Such elborate tales, but why I ask you? Why? We don't really keep in touch any more.

Or my last boyfriend disaster, Kezza; he lied to me about everything but where the kitchen sink was. Funnily enough, his favourite saying was “Remember to remember” I liked it allot, but I wanted to say to him was ...
“….try and finish the sentence Kezza; remember to remember to be honest!”
We’re not together any more either… just in case you were wondering.

How many people extend the truth on a daily basis to get what they need or get the job done? What’s the old saying, “never let the truth get in the way of a good story?” Some just love a good story more than others.

When it comes to embellishment and exaggeration my darling mother takes the cake. God bless her heart, she could win an Oscar for her shows and story telling. In 2000, I was shipped to London with my company to work on some big Outsourcing Deal for BP worth $ figures resembling a phone number. Bless Mum, she told the girls in Albury-Wodonga I was the “MD for BHP representing my company in some major deal, very global, very global”. Details Gaysie, details. Bless her.

More recently I had Chris Tuppen (voted one of the one of the Top 50 men that could save the world from a Climate Change disaster - See link) meet my client to share experiences and help with the development of their CSR strategy. Mum I believe, told the girls that I was actually working with Chris to save the world, and one day I’d sit on the UN and give Rudd a run for his money on the Carbon Trading scheme for Australia. (god love her!)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/jan/05/activists.ethicalliving


We can be anything or anyone in the eyes of the person who is listening.

Like I said, there are two types of people that lie, tell fibs, stretch the truth, bend the rules or just colour the tale; just two.

Now, the other side of the lying is telling the truth, coming clean, and putting it out there in real terms. As I was trying to sleep last night thinking about all of this, instead of counting sheep (who the hell does that work for anyway) I was thinking about all the films with scenes that had an impact when the truth came out.

Have a look at some of these – and if you don’t have time to look through them all, please do open the last one… it’s one of my favourite scenes in movie - and some of the best old school kisses you’ll ever see.

A Few Good Men – the scene when Jack tells Tom he can’t handle the truth… how many of us can handle Tom these days?? Jack, yes of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumNAY

The Sixth Sense – The classic scene when he says “I see dead people”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN6PpM5b0A4

And finally – this is the best scene in a movie – Cinema Paradiso

Who can forget that finale scene - he finally discovers the truth about all the movies he’s watched as a boy – a compliation of all the kissing scenes cut out of every movie by his mentor to please the church… it’s really a wonderful scene. Very touching and of course very warm and fuzzy.

A must see scene – have a look

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMTYTRapJes&feature=related


What do they say, "if you fool me once, you’re the fool. If you fool me again, I’m the fool". Then, Karma on your bad ass…

But if you’re fanning your feathers to get my attention, then “hello Peacock, nice show, I might just watch today….”

None of us are perfect and god knows I’m no Florence Nightingale… I have feathers too! I guess the difference is these days I know what role I’m playing.


Remember to remember, there is always another side to the story….


Fleur

TBS