The other side of being busy

Sitting on the sofa in my mother’s bedroom on the farm I’ve found some time to exhale. This trip has been a whirlwind fun and frivolity, pure exhaustion and over commitment all of my own self-doing. Good news is I’ve been upgraded from being Cinderella to Princess; I’ve scored a room in the main house! Not sure how that happened?

Busy busy busy. Work hard, play hard it’s the silly season alright, but I been thinking about what busy really means and how it can be a poetic licence for a lot more than just what it sounds like these days.

We use busy as a reason why we can’t do things. Why we can’t prioritise an activity or follow through on a commitment. I’m too busy, I’m so busy at work, I’ll get back to you, I’ll give you a shout later, and I’ll catch you for a drink soon. Best of intentions sometimes, but there really is a voice within most of us screaming out, “Mate, I’m just not going to do this”. But, we still choose to dosy-doh of maybe.

The other side of busy can be self worth. To fill a space, a gap, a hole or a void to create a sense of self that we think is missing.

Sometimes we take on more than we should, I know I do – very busy, very very busy. And this has nothing to do with being single, I know people that are very similar. We create monsters purely because we take on more than we should for the reason that we think we can when no one else will. Step aside, here we are to wade on in there and say “I’ll do it, leave it with me”.

We do it because we know (believe) we’ll get the job done faster, better, with more finesse than the poor sod that’s sitting there scratching their head or picking their nose (figuratively speaking of course). The result is we (the royal “we”) create an expectation with the audience that we’ll ALWAYS do that “thing”, no worries, wind her up and watch her go. Just relax, step back, chill out, have a diet coke break, take a load of Annie, order a pizza or take a pint. Knock yourself out, but don’t worry, the job will get done.

Oddly enough, I’ve been beginning to question the other side of whom these monsters are that we’re so royally creating, and if actually we are the dickheads and they are just really smart people? All the while reclining arms stretched above their heads, and through their chameleon grin the words never said are “sucker, yeah knock your socks off toots, go for it, show’s all yours baby, I’ll sit back and enjoy the ride.” Or maybe they are spoken and I’m too busy to listen.

There is a guy in one of our office whose nickname should be “Neverdunnaday”. I have never heard someone claim to be so busy who is in reality working part time. And day after day, effortlessly produces a plethora of lame “why I can’t go or am late for work” excuses and gets away with it. It priceless. Surely there is a Google Alert direct to your Iphone or Blackberry, sent at 7am daily with your newest one-liner for the boss, or anyone that will listen. (If not, there is business idea there boys, get an app ready for the Apple, it’s a licence to print money, I can tell you!). Again, it leaves me thinking, is this guy fucking lazy or just really clever?

The other side of being busy is being over committed. I have been the master of this and vow to give it away when I step on that that A380 big bird this Sunday. Having spent some time with “Neverdunnaday” I’m feeling like a dumb ass, this dude would have cut 2/3rds off his itinerary to make room to manoeuvre or have some half days by the pool. Watch and learn Flowers, watch and learn.

The other side of busy is impatience. I’ve been so busy to get everything done people question if I ever enjoy the journey? Someone said once you walked the Camino de Santiago like you lived your life. In truth I was always walking at pace at the beginning of the day, leading the pack, storming onward, 30 km a day, for 30 days, until about day 19 when I realised there was so much I was missing out on. It was the day of the “Stream of the Fresh Fanny’s”. A day where Amber and I stopped; dropped back and took a folk in the road and found a beautiful stream that was totally hidden away from the pilgrim yellow arrowed path. We wanted to go skinny-dipping, but it was too cold, icy, icy cold. We were left with no choice but just to dip half way and giggle, tingle and feel completely alive from the assault of the chilly water, and nicely refreshed (hence the name). From that day forth, we kept our eyes open and we slowed down, we sang, we made up stories of princesses in Castles and Pilgrims locked in attics of mysterious old chapels carved in the hillside. We stopped and watched and didn’t want it to end. We talked to new people and found that there was so much more to touch and feel. We agreed it wasn’t sprint, it wasn’t a race, it was our life for now and from that moment on all we wanted was for time to slow down. Slow right down.

To other side of be busy is also not to be available. So when some one says to you, I’m sorry, I’m so busy I can’t see you, call you, meet you, come back to on that thing, it basically means “you’re not a priority to me right now”. Now whether you want to take offence to that or not, is completely your choice. Bless Sophia, she has taught me “don’t assume and not take things personally”. So I tend not to anymore.

Judith also has always challenged me about how busy I am and if I do this to “fill up space” and therefore am not available for what I really want. But one thing we agree is that I would not fill in more space with people that were not what I wanted in my life.

To reframe that, when something is not available, it frees your time and space to be available for something that is available to you.

I got the “busy tone” from a Peacock that had fanned his feathers to me recently and I must say, they were magnificent. But I took the fun out of the show by being honest about his critics and what they thought of his show. I generally don’t read reviews; I’m too opinionated about what really impresses me to let some-one’s else’s experience make it a forgone conclusion. There is nothing common about my tastes or me really; but like I said, I probably cut the music way too early for the Peacock. The other side of my distaste for critics was that I became one by sending the feedback. I reached out once; it went something like this
“Come out of your cave yet?” and I got a reply “Ah, sorry, I’m so busy at work, talk soon.”
Shame, I liked his feathers.

My friend Nadya always talks about how I should be more non-chaluant and is encouraging me to read a book called “The Game”. It’s about how men play the game with woman and if I want to get anywhere, I should invest some time to read this book.

It’s not my thing, I honesty cannot be arsed with all of that dosy-doh-ing that the Gamers, the wolves in sheep backs, the hunters or cougars like to play. I’m not a LBFM (which is an expression my mate Brian told me about recently, it stands for “Little Brown F88king Machines”) In fact I couldn’t be more opposite. I’m not little, I have a moon tan and the F machine needs a service.

For me to act non-chaluant is to be disinterested, disengaged, without passion or even a heartbeat - which again is completely the opposite of who I am.

There is a great scene in a play I saw once called PAM ANN. Check this link out, she is hilarious – she’s a flight attendant on the PAM AM airways – and she does this skit about being a hostee and being very busy, very busy, very busy…looking very important, acting busy to get away with not serving any one… it’s hilarious show…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge_x1U2rYBo

(check out the link) She’s an Aussie bird, and it’s a sensational laugh. If you’ve got time have a look at her safety video on Youtube, she is a cracker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq_JrXQ6Hx4&feature=related


We move in express times, the age of convenience increases our desire for speed, setting up our toys to enable us to operate as fast as our fingers move. We are constantly feeding this growth with in us called “impatience”, whilst we accept that it’s normal to maintain our heart rate at a pace just over that of the common man standing next to us. There in lies the challenge to unwind, to stop, to be allowed to break down…. to actually stop and smell the roses.

I worked out that sprinting ahead, being so busy can mean a fixation on the end game rather than what’s happening right now and I not interested in don’t the missing out part any more. People keep asking me when am coming back to Australia or what I’m doing next? My standard response has been “I have no idea if, when or ever I will come back to Australia. Right Now, I’m just taking it one day at a time”.

It’s funny, I was thinking about the other side of getting busy next year and writing my new years resolutions, the usual long list of things I wanted to be doing next year. Then it dawned on me, I didn’t need a list this year, I was already doing it. Instead of a list, I have a motto

“I’m available for what’s available”

Think about that. It’s not referring to men either, even though that is a mandatory criteria.

Benny Hill once said,
“Just because no one complains about the parachute, doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong!”

What do you think about that?

I’ve done busy to death on this trip. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, after dinner and beyond, I’m all for stopping and smelling the roses for a while I think. Although, that being said, my stopping and sniffing is probably still going to represent some one else’s hectic.

Morgan Freeman’s famous quote in the Shawshank Redemption,
“…get busy living, or get busy dying…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tkzc983aE0


Gaysie has made little star shaped short breads with our names swirled in icing for place settings on the Chrissie table, that will each lean against petite Turkish tea glasses, red and intricate in design. After I wrote this blog today I suggested to Mum that we should place a rose from her magnificent garden in each glass to complete the table. “Good idea Flozzie”, she said. I thought so too.

Merry Christmas. Enjoy the time with your family and loved ones.

I know the sides of my mouth will be curled up nicely.


Fleur

TBS

P.s – I had an instrumental 2 play-list for this Blog– all of my movie soundtrack instrumental pieces by Craig Armstrong, The Charlie Haden Quartet, Yann Tiersen, Ryuichi Sakamoto, John Barry, Ennio Morricone, Traffic, Closer, Mono, Sigur Ros, The Mission, David Foster. Let me know if you’d like it.