The other side of baggage

Now, no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I had a lot of baggage on this trip to Argentina.  A month starting in Buenos Aires, then to my cows (herding and parting), moving to horse riding across the Andes and the finale of trekking through Chile.   All have their needs and not one dress fits all.  On my final leg, I arrived in the small sleepy town of Puerto Natales, Chile, to start the trek. The bus was filled with your typical travelers, back pack and beanie on, and there was me and all my bags.  This English guy stopped and looked at me in utter amazement. A tall blonde, knee high boots, matching suitcase and carry on, back pack, walking poles, a day pack and handbag. He slowly turned his head sideways and said rather curiously "and you're going to trek with all that?".  Nup, I was going to leave what I didn't need at the door.  Although, all this carry of luggage got me thinking about how much baggage we carry around with us that has nothing to do with material or clothing.  The emotional baggage stuff and we could all think about leaving at the door of 2011.

Trekking the W Circuit in the Torres del Paine National Park, Chile, we carried backpacks that were roughly 7- 12 kg’s heavy. Only the lightest and most imperative items came with us.  Everything we needed accept food and a mattress or tent. To keep it simple, we all agreed it was better to be potentially smelly than have a sore back. More with less. 

We took what we needed to survive and we all came back in one piece – a uncomplicated experience all serviced from one little backpack. 12kgs out of my 45kg, that’s it, easy.  And guess what, we were fine, I was fine, more than fine. We washed daily, joked constantly, were blessed with incredible weather, the circuit unfolded unparalleled beauty, the worlds finest natural wonders and we were even given a Glacier splitting show, one our best environmental dichotomy’s.  My jaw dropped a dozen or more times and I was desperate for another word other than “WOW”.

With our simple packs, as a group we challenged ourselves to climb higher, to keep pushing on through when it hurt, and helping each other out when we needed a hand.  In our refugios at night food was served when we were hungry, a bed provided when tired and a semi hot shower for some when we were seriously smelly. All we had were our basics. No one had any trouble, no one was greatly hurt (although I hit my head twice and nearly passed out) and no one stopped being male or female, no matter how smelly we were.  Pheromones still exist in the wild!  

On the 31^st of December we trekked 16km to a peak to look out over Glacier Grey and we were fortunate to have a 45 minute stop because of the famous Patagonian winds were so high.  A message would come to tell us to hike another 2 hours to the boat which would take us closer to the Glacier.  We all sat alone for that time mostly. A perfect spot for reflectionperched in a nook in the rooks to get some shelter from the wind, onlooking straight at the magnificent blue icefield.

Even though I was wrapped up in many layers feeling like the Michelin woman, I felt more like I was the caterpillar shedding her cocoon to release the butterfly, ready for flight.  I wrote in my book all the baggage I was leaving behind in 2010.  I made a conscious decision that these were the things that I had processed, sat with, looked at, understood and where ready to put in a pack and leave at the door of my new year.  There was no room for this stuff any more, I was consciously moving into a new space.  Very liberating. The whole process was such a cathartic thing to do. Ok, if the butterfly is too corny for you, here stood a woman who’s lived an interesting life – and it is what it is; good and bad.  I’d made peace with the stuff I needed to.  It’s now time to look out over the world and see what’s next? What a great moment.

Then I gave my self a toast, “tits and bums”!  Which was my toast call for the trip. I only had water with me, so it was a Clayton’s toast, but it was enough.

“Leave your baggage at the door and step on through to the other side.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad to say goodbye to 2010, yet I’m really grateful for the experience.  You can’t cheat yourself through that stuff, you just have to ride the wave and get through and back on the beach, or where ever it is you want to leave your backpack of baggage.

Going to Spanish speaking countries is just geography too. It’s not because I’ve come to Argentina and Chile that I’ve been able to eject the bag, it’s more that I’ve learnt how to steer better at the ripe old age of 37. I love getting older.

I’ve talked to so many people recently whom have all shared the common desire to see that back of 2010. Is it that it’s the aftermath to the GFC when things were really shit? Or is it that the mass of society, and people that are in my sphere have all had a really shitty year as much as I have? Was it just one of those years?

Don’t get me wrong, lots of great things happened for people in this year, babies were born and weddings went off with a bang, people fell in love, new big job contracts signed.  However, my point is I have to spare a thought, a massive pregnant pause in fact because there were allot of us that had a great deal of stuff to deal with.

Stuff – what does that mean? Let’s give it some colour – this is what I’ve heard from and talked to people about this year - so here goes:

….having babies or losing babies, the never ending trying for babies, realising your partner doesn’t want babies, or your boyfriends ex girlfriend is having his baby. 

…getting married, being married and being confused about what that is all about, breaking a marriage and not entirely sure what the hell to do next, or being caught in a surrogate relationship with your Ex which just makes life complicated.

…being punished for cheating, punishing yourself for cheating. Will she or won’t she leave him, will he ever leave his wife?

…new families bonding, new families breaking, dysfunctional families laying it on thick, suicide threats, dealing with abuse, breaking toxic patterns, being bashed by your boyfriend.

…..no relationship at all, or just swimming in relationship bullshit.

….. toxic politics at work, ugly work financial non payments of bonuses, work bullshit, work fuckwits, work everything, work, work, work, work, work, work, then losing your job, and the anguish of trying to find another one.

…..constant liars, nice guy chameleons that are really just dickheads, hearts breaking, tears falling, more dickheads!

…this is all just shit, when do we get to December 31^st?

I’m sure there is a long list more…….

The other side of baggage is some people need to hold on to I it like safety blankets. Or they hold on to it because they believe it keeps them warm at night, even if they lay shaking. Some are exceptionally comfortable holding on to everything and anything. They are known as emotional hoarders. Living in the past keeps them firmly in the same place, because simply that’s what they know.  They tend to feel more cosy with complication than others, although complain about it constantly.  What’s more sad is that most of these people don’t understand how much their baggage can choke or suffocate others.  It’s difficult to breathe and manoeuvre with all this stuff in your space right!

Now some baggage takes longer than others to get off you back.  Granted, it takes time to process. It’s whether you make a decision to keep it with you or process it to move it along…. Nothing to see here, right!  Try letting it go. 

Why don’t we apply the approach we took to our packs for the trek more in life I wonder? You know, only take what you need with you to move forward and enjoy some of life’s most incredible scenery.  Are we all just too afraid that if we let go of too much we’ll allow ourselves to be smelly once in a while?  I’m holding on to the mantra of my trekking group, take less to see more.

I’ll let you in on secret, when we were smelly on the trek we all just got into our mountain air hot tub, no joke! Fresh as daisy after that!

The most important thing to remember is this – you decide, you choose what happens, and know that your year ahead is only what you make of it. You can do anything you put your mind to.  Be realistic but go after it, every bit of it.  And please don’t forget to ask for what you want, or tell the person in front of you what you want. If you don't ask you, don’t get.

So, if you can, wrap up your woes, package up your past, have a chat with it, look at it, name it, see what colour it is, tell it how you feel and then put it in a pack and leave it at the door.  Take a big breath and say, “See you, ciao, getouttahere, oni-va, tits and bums, cheers big ears – now fuck off Noddy!” How ever you want to say good bye, up to you; but leave it at the door.

I’ve had some incredible moments on this trip, however sitting on the top of the peak with Glacier Grey in Chile has to be one of the best.  It was the perfect way for me to say adios to 2010 and to date, is the most unsurpassed new years ever day I've experienced.  I may have come to Argentina with loads of stuff, but I've sure left allot behind. (Even though I'd be lying if I didn't say I have a stella new wardrobe!)

A final note, if your personal baggage is loaded with a few more love muffins that you normally carry at this time of year, don’t worry about it, no te calientes.  Yes, take it easy, smile and know that it purely shows how much you’ve enjoyed saying see ya to 2010. 

Happy new year to you all. I hope your new outlook for the year ahead is a better, brighter shade of simple! 

I leave for Singapore tonight.

I’m ready to come home.

I’ve had the trip of a life-time.

Viva Argentina!   Buenos Noches.

Love love love, TBS

p.s Sometimes I think the blackberry is the heaviest all of baggage – second to the ex in our lives that we can’t get past. The hyriachy of baggage, don’t get me started.