The other side of the last supper

I’ve just spent the last week in a health retreat in Ubud, Bali. It’s a detox week. Which means, I fasted for 7 days, had nothing to eat but juices, broth and after day 4 was allowed a delightful green vegetable soup for dinner; which by that stage was like being served wonderful elixir of life and nourishment! I’ve done this before, at a very rudimentary retreat on Koh Samui, so I was bracing myself for another fairly hard-core week, but I was disappointed when on the first morning I was awoken by the lovely Agus, “Miss Fleur, excuse me, your ginger tea is ready for you”. What? I remember getting woken up last trip to pinch my nose and scull some horrid clay shitty sludge at 6am. Not a fresh ginger, aromatic lemongrass and fresh mint served by the Adonis Balinese Agus!

It’s a 5.30am start mind you, but actually it’s stunning that time of day and all the roosters in the surrounding fields are all waking up, boasting a stunning chorus of cocks and critters singing “good morning to you, good morning to you” what’s not to like about that? (A bit urgent for some right?) We set off for a morning walk about 6am weaving our way through the rice paddy fields, or up some stepper climbs, and on the Tuesday morning, we braved a 3.30am hike to the top of the volcano to sit and watch the sun rise. Just spectacular. All to be concluded with the men offering you a fresh, thick, nourishing juice, “banana mango and strawberry?” or “mango and pawpaw”, or “how about just a fresh water melon with mint?” I seriously thought this was cheating when I first got there, all I could remember was some watered down watermelon tasteless juice (9 parts water, 1 part melon) and clay shakes at the last joint, and in comparison this was like heaven. “I’ll have mango, and strawberry please!”


After our walks it was yoga and meditation, followed by breakfast, then was a day all planned out for you booked with daily skin brushing, massages, rose petal baths that made you feel like you were the chick from “American Beauty”, mud wraps, facials, sea salt spas, foot massages, mani/pedi, spiritual healing, and Reiki, honestly I felt like a princess being prepared for a ceremony. Until oh yes the daily ritual of a tube shoved up my bum for the good old colonics. The cold slap of reality again. No details needed there, but I will say, fascinating stuff, and really an amazing process. Did you know we can carry up to 5kgs of waste in our lower intestine and colon? What I will tell you is when the masses pass (it’s all in a glass tube in front of you, all very sanitary) they tell you what it is, “oh that’s carbohydrate…”(no more of those bloody Crispy Crème Donuts Glover) “oh that’s red meat…..” (Ok, should ease up on the baked eye fillet jobbies with the crew). “ooooh that’s food poisoning, and that’s food poisoning, and yes that’s food poisoning”. That was the scariest; just how much posioning I seemed to have inside me. But no more now, when I fart it will smell like roses!

By Day 3 I couldn’t do meditation because I was thinking so much about food and what I should be doing with it, I couldn’t sit still. I had to go and write it all down and get it out. There was no quietening the mind when I had menus of food splurging out of me. It was like my volcano had irrupted and it was that kind that just kept on coming, and coming and coming… (Smile)

It started with my home made Roasted Carrot, shallot and feta, or rocket pine punt, dill and lemon dips with home made herbed baked pita bread to serve it up with, then a picnic luncheon with a traditional basket, a cozy rug and boxes of delicious tapas dishes, or anti pasta and a crisp chilled German Riesling to wash it down with. Or then I slipped to a warm bowl of my special wasabe sweet corn, bursting with juicy bits as you took a bite. Or, young spring lamb cutlets with sea salt and a wedge of lemon, oh finger licking good, shared with a small bowl of pea, pomegranate and goats cheese salad or a large colourful platter of roasted pumpkin and Jerusalem artichoke salad with chive, orange and tahini dressing. For morning glory, I could tuck into my home made granola cereal with fresh goats yogurt and slice of fresh orange or some wavers of crisp young pear, or after exercise, my protein baked muesli with coconut and almonds and vanilla bean served however it comes. Or for a light snack, a quick glass of chilled gazpacho soup on the rocks, or a bloody Mary with horseradish, or ohh maybe a jug of Pims with fresh mint and cucumber, or actually, how about a Grey goose Herb Martini? Hah, yum, delicious, lick-a-dee-split, tempting and so real I could taste each flavour pass through my lips, tongue and oops, not quite make it to my belly…. I have no idea if I was licking my lips through yoga, but if I was, I’m sure our teacher Mede would have had a tickle.

On Day 4 during yoga I decided that I had to have a dinner party that was the only cure of my obsession, and obviously gave me another avenue for my food creation.
Righto, I shall invite eight people, which is a perfect number around my table. And for the menu – to start with, the entrée we’ll have – (downward facing dog posture) Salad Niciose with quail eggs. Fabulous, topped off with some ultra fresh tuna from the Japanese Market in Parkway Parade.

Then moving on to main course, I’ll prepare (moving forward into the Warrior Posture – c’mon breathe) herb crusted racks of spring lamb, and serve them on my wonderfully large oblong sized plates, sitting on a bed of fresh fennel and mint, lemon dressed salad (not a massive size, more for effect and freshness) with a gently baked truss tomato on each plate, skin removed, stuffed with my delicious ratatouille, with a basil leaf to garnish. In my mind this little ensemble looks absolutely mouth watering; yet so simple and elegantly arranged on the plate. On the table there will be a generously large dish of hot creamy potato dauphinoise, which is no way Zen, but its holy moley mother of all scumdeedeelumscious, 3 servings later, a must!

Then finally for desert (laying down, focus on your breathing, focus, c’mon breath) has to be the quintessential finish, a baked chocolate fondant with home made lavender ice cream. The best part is when you take your first spoon dive, a lava explosion erupts with gooey fudge chocolate liquid spilling out everywhere and your lavender ice cream can’t help but get involved. (Thanks Talitha, you inspired me with your last supper!). Ah, now just need to lock in the date.

And now for meditation – you’ve got to be kidding me, not for this little flower. My mind was far too busy to make room to let more energy in… more room for what, another degastation meal? C’mon? No. Enough. Well, maybe I should have stayed and tried, who knows what I would have created? Dinner at mine this week end any one?

The other side of fasting is, when you can’t have what you want, you obsess over it. Even when it’s not good for it, but when you are denied something, it always becomes so much more attractive. Don’t you think?

I’m a foodie at heart, have been brought up around food all my life, one of my earliest memories is sitting on the end of the bench when my Mum was teaching the local woman of Baccus Marsh, how to cook. It’s been my environment for years. Mum had a restaurant and catering companies, 3 cooking schools and our kitchen was always the meeting place for so many people. So, it’s part of me. Naturally, now, when I want to de-stress, I cook - I create. When I’m thinking, “what to do on a Sunday?” I go to the market and buy some delicious fresh produce (or now my local Cold Storage does the trick too) and I start a cook-off. Then a wintery day, if I had enough of my boyfriend’s sports, boy toys everywhere or just his boy moods, I would kick him out for the day and cook. Then he’d come home and see a pot of Roasted Tomato and Capsicum soup, an Osso Bucco Milanese slow cooking in the oven for hours, fluffy mash potato, a Tiramisu in the fridge and on the bench is a pretty batch of carrot cake cupcakes, with cream cheese icing and caramelized walnuts on the top. He’d look at me like the cat who just liked the cream, and say, “wow honey, you were mad”. Actually, I generally do not need an occasion to whip something up; I just love feeding people.

There is such pleasure from watching people devour mouthfuls of your food, creations of tasty little morsels that you’ve put together with your hands. The look on peoples faces, the look of delight when you are enjoying your senses being tickled by these flavours, it’s very rewarding.

The other side of feeding people is bringing people together. Food is meant to be shared although it keeps us alive individually. The Italians got it right, course after course, after course after course, washed down with lots of wine and great conversations. Or talking about the same topic for 6 hours; no shit, I sat at dinner party in Tuscany once with Annie and Chris, when the Italians all sat around, after 6 courses of the finest ingredients passing our mouths, talking about the price of the cabinet they had bought at the local flee market. No word of lie. Honestly, what ever floats your boat over dinner conversation, I’m not too fussy, just as long as there are faces with warm smiles and full bellies. Happy days.

The other side of glorious food is the pleasure can also bring you so much pain. What do they say, a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips! I’m sure that only applies to woman, but there in lies the painful reminder that that moment of indulgence will produce some kind of dimple or cauliflower effect on one’s bottom! Thankfully I was not blessed with a cauliflower ass, but I have seen some in my time, and I can tell you, you don’t want one. And what’s worse, these poor women that got given that gene didn’t deserve it either, no one choose it, or can avoid it. It’s a horrible affliction really, and can only be the hard reality of too much indulgence with a bad gene pool. Conversely, I do envy the people that can chow down for days, endless amounts of food and not put on any weight. My sister in law Lucy is very petite yet, is a mad chocoholic, mental in fact, she’s munching away on Cadbury’s daily, nightly, sometimes she wont have food left in the fridge, but there will always be chocolate in the cupboard, never a kilo gained. Bitch!

The other side of this detox was a feast to quench the idea of the fast. Our little flock of woman, all sat around, slipping out juices and one by one, shared what we had for our last supper.

Louise had, Fish and Chips, red wine and chocolate, then polished off a Bundy and Coke and packet of Pringles on the plane out to Bali. Aisha had Swordfish, chili crab, ginger clams and all different salads. Talitha confessed she had a whole lobster, 4 salads, 4 cocktails, prawns, calamari, and a chocolate lava fondant with ice cream for desert. All by herself! Go girl. I had Lemon grass pork spare ribs, scallops and vegetables, two Asahi’s and two pints of Pilsner.
Then we all talked about what would we have if it were our last supper ever. So many wonderful choices, but it was a hard one for many. I however was straight out with I’d do a Sunday Brunch at the Fullerton or somewhere like that in Singapore. That way you have every combination of food you can think of and however much you could stuff in your little stomach all washed with Verve Champagne! Sensational way to go, don’t you think? Foie Gras, anyone?

The other side of all this fasting week is I’ve come back feeling incredible Zen and feeling fabulous. Apart from my face breaking out, which I have never had a pimple in my whole life, but they say it’s good luck because it really means you have cleared your body of the toxins and that your are blessed if this happens. I don’t buy that for one minute, the Balinese are the best charmers in the world, I get the toxins thing, but baby cakes, I am so not blessed for getting my first break out at 36, let me give you the mail!

But the good news is, I lost 8 pounds, in fact, 8.1 pounds since my last weigh in for the Biggest Loser at work! WAY HAY, I think I’ve nailed that competition, since joining the boys in the plight to lose 10 pounds by Chinese New Year, I’ve now lost 15.1 pounds in total! The target is 20 by Easter; I think I’ll have this wrapped up Chinese New year.

So on my return to Singapore I’ve done two things – gone to Cold Storage and instead of buying the lamb racks and chocolate, I filled the trolley full of everything that was green yellow and orange. “Veggie me up” I say. I thought I’d never touch another juice in my life, “no way will have another god damn juice after this week” I protested, but shucks, eat your hat Glover – there I was, 6am Sunday morning, revving up my Sunbeam for a Beetroot, Carrot, Celery, Ginger, Apple and mint juice! A delicious addiction maybe? I did however make massive jars full of granola and protein muesli, so if anyone is passing Pebble Bay in the morning and feeling peckish, come on in, there is enough to feed an army!

The second thing I did was went to a local Tailor, a reputation man recommended from JoAnn, my trusty girlfriend at work, to have had made a new Ball Gown for the Cambodian Children’s Trust Crystal Ball this coming Friday night. I’m copying the dress the lovely Jen wore to the Golden Globes this January. I’ve always wanted a long velvet black gown with a split on high, and now shazzam, Cinda shall be going to the ball, not in pink, but in hot sexy black velvet number. (Even Cinda has to get with the program at some point right?!)

I relished two very important take always – One, that you don’t have to “do it tough” to be healthy and detox, and get your mind and body balanced. And two, “birds of a feather really do flock together”. The woman that I met and the people that ran the Ubud Sari were all unique and incredible individuals. Our group, just by chance, fate, destiny, or just because that’s the way life turns, coming together to support, nurture, fantasize about our last supper and just keel over with laughter together. Six passionate women all with great energy and the love of good bum humour, sharing an environment that was really magical for all of us, in our special way. I felt like we formed a family, a unit, all with the right ingredients for a great experience. You can’t take yourself too seriously with colonics let me tell you.

The other side of the Ubud Sari was I got my wish. I came back to Singapore a day early because of family matters and as luck would have it, an opportunity opened up to me! I got to go to play out my last supper fantasy – I went to my friend Hannah’s birthday Brunch at the Conrad Hotel. The angels were singing, and I was on high! I got there early so I could gaze at the spread silently all by myself. It was heaven. Yes, my eyes were bigger than my stomach, literally. It was sheer indulgence and each mouthful was savoured…. I was doing alright until I was convinced to have the waffle with vanilla bean ice cream by Steve who declared it was the “dessert of Kings” … I can’t do dairy at the best of times, doh, that was me done, stuffed, but oh so happy. Should I have done that, no, of course not, but rules are meant to be broken, I had some fun with it, and it was a treat that I had allowed myself for the utter joy of it all. Good for the soul, I say.
And after all, it’s green juices, veggies and nut muesli all the way for me this week.


What would you eat for your last supper? What ever it is, enjoy, and up ya bum!

Fleur
TBS